Convergent
by Dearest Destiny
Summary: AU no war. Caleb betrays Abnegation, but differently. Tris hides herself behind her tough, unshakeable persona of Six, but in reality, she's just one step from breaking. Full summary inside. Eventual FourTris
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

**Unbetaed**

**Summary: AU no war. Caleb betrayed Abnegation, but in a different way. The day after initiation ends, Tris is summoned to Erudite, where she witnesses the unjust trial and execution of her parents. She does everything she can to leave her past and the pain of Caleb's betrayal behind, becoming the intimidating Six. She bottles up her pain, becoming indifferent to everyone except her closest friends. She knows she can't keep running from her problems forever, but she doesn't know if she'll ever be ready to face them. Eventual FourTris**

* * *

I observe each of the Dauntless transfers as they take their place with us.

One of them is a girl from Amity. I notice her mother, trying to smile but crying at the same time. I've never seen an Amity cry.

There are twelve transfers total, the same number there were in my year. I clap for each of them, along with the rest of the Dauntless, taking in their faces, trying to see if they've got what it takes to be Dauntless. I'm sure the short, dark-haired boy from Candor won't make it. I would be surprised if he wasn't factionless by the night. He doesn't have the guts necessary to be Dauntless.

As soon as the last girl makes her choice, the ceremony's over and we're out and running. I, along with the other Dauntless members, lead the way to the tracks. The air is as crisp and cool as ever. As I run, I marvel over how much easier it is this time. This time, there is no apprehension, no fear. I whoop and shout along with the rest of the Dauntless, relishing the adrenaline and exhilaration I feel as I scale the metal foundations up to the train tracks.

The train approaches, and I'm running. Once I deem that I have enough speed, I swing myself onto the train. Getting on the train has become as easy as breathing. The Dauntless-born are already accustomed to this, and they're on the train just as quickly as I am. I look back, and see most of the transfers still running. The boy from Candor is among them. I look away. I don't have to watch to know who won't make it.

The trip back to the Dauntless compound seems shorter than it usually does. As soon as I see the roof, I brace myself for the jump. My muscles tense, and I leap off the train, hitting the ground running. Max is waiting at the edge of the roof, as always. Eric is beside him. His hair is more disgusting than ever. I'm sure that if a match was held up next to it, not even touching, his hair would catch on fire.

He sneers at me, and I scowl back. Sometimes I wish I could actually set him on fire. It would spare the trouble of getting rid of his body too.

"Listen up!" Max shouts. The initiates all jump to their feet and hurry over, still struggling to catch their breaths. "My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction! Several stories beneath us the entrance to the members' entrance to our compound." Of course, he says this as he's standing on the ledge of the roof, as if there wasn't a one hundred foot drop right behind him. "If you can't muster the will to jump, you don't in Dauntless. Any volunteers?"

No one steps forwards. One girl whimpers. I want to sneer, but keep my face blank. Even I wasn't so openly weak when I joined.

"You want us to jump off a roof?" A Candor asks. His mouth hangs open, incredulous. His features are soft, his blonde hair falling lightly over his eyes.

"Did he stutter?" Eric sneers.

The Candor boy shuts his mouth.

When still no one steps forward, Max says to the Candor boy, "Since no one volunteered, you can be the first to go."

The Candor boy's eyes widen, and he shakes his head frantically. "No. No, I-"

I grab his arm and shove him forward to the ledge. "I can push you, or you can jump. Your choice."

Eric watches me, approving glint in his eyes. I don't like that look. It reminds me of my initiation, when I fought Molly and won. I remember thinking, _if Eric thinks I did something right, I must have done it wrong_. But I'm brought out of my thoughts by Max saying, "Hurry it up, we don't have all day."

The Candor boy is shaking. I feel no sympathy for him. He chose Dauntless, but he doesn't have the guts to jump. He won't make it through initiation.

"Push him," Max orders.

After a split second's hesitation, I do. His screams last in the air even after he's gone. "Who's next?"

One of the Dauntless-born steps up. I don't recognize him, but I nod as I move aside to allow him on the ledge. He jumps.

After the initial few people jump, more people gain their courage and eventually, the only people left on the roof are me, Max, and Eric. They head to the stairs by the side that none of the initiates know about, but I choose to stay up here. "I'll just jump down," I tell Max. He nods and they leave.

I look down at the dark hole. It looks as bottomless and intimidating as ever, but I know there's a net, and I don't hesitate before I jump.

For a few seconds, I'm weightless and it feels like I'm flying. But it ends all too soon as I hit the net. The initiates are staring at Four, who is in the process of intimidating whichever fool was stupid enough to laugh at his name.

They're all so focused on him, they don't even notice me until I roll off the mat and land on my feet.

"Four," I greet him.

"Six," He nods to me.

"There are two of you?" Some kid blurts out. I identify the one who said it. The Candor boy. Of course.

I can tell Four's about to get all snarly and up in his face, but I beat him to it. "You got a problem?" I ask. In the half-light, I know I look intimidating, despite my height. Between the tattoos and ear piercings, and the blond and red hair, I look as Dauntless as anyone they've ever seen. I had even allowed Christina to do my makeup today, and she insisted on making me look striking. _You'll be so intimidating, __you won't even have to make anyone hang over the Chasm for five minutes for them to respect you. _I had been torn between annoyed that she was putting me through the torture of makeup and horrorstruck over the way she joked about it so carelessly.

The boy quickly shakes his head. "Good, because if you do, you'll quickly be acquainted with the bottom of the Chasm." I smile. It's cruel, rather than friendly. A year ago, I would have never passed out threats so lightly, but a lot can change in a year, something I found out personally.

I part ways with the group as soon as we reach the Pit, because really, Four's the one who has to put up with the kids. All Harrison said was for me to do was to help in the training process. As far as I'm concerned, leading initiates around doesn't have anything to do with that. Eric has the easy job. All the Dauntless-born already know where to go, what to do. We had drawn straws, and Four and I were stuck with the transfers.

I walk alone down the long, narrow tunnels that are now as familiar as the back of my hand. I weave through the hallways until I finally reach the Pit. I'm greeted by the usual cacophony of noise. Laughter sounds in the hair. Below, I see a pair of teenage boys fake-sparring, pretending to throw punches at each other. Around them stand a group of teenagers, all around the same age as the two boys.

I make my way to the dining hall and slide into a seat next to Christina. "Hey," she greets. "Hamburger?"

I smirk, remembering my first meal as a Dauntless initiate. I had been just as scared as most of the initiates were now. I hear a little "eep!" from behind me. I turn and see a pair of boys scurrying away, no doubt scared off by my expression.

Christina playfully nudges me. "Scaring initiates off before training even starts, Six?" No one calls me Tris anymore. Since the disastrous day after the end of initiation, I have all but abandoned the name. But even though I claim I have cut all ties to my previous life, I still consider myself Tris, rather than Six. Although somedays, I find it hard to tell between the two. Tris, first jumper, the girl who ranked first in initiation, who was betrayed by her older brother. Six, the girl who drank, got into fights, and scared all the initiates.

I wonder who Four was before he became Four. Does he still identify with his old name, or has he given it up completely? I don't think I could ever completely leave Tris behind, no matter how much I wish to sometimes.

I excuse myself after dinner and make my way to the initiate dormitories. Eric is already present, and he's started his standard welcoming speech. And by welcoming, I mean intimidating the initiates until they're ready to piss themselves. When I get close enough to hear him, he's already gotten to discussing rankings. "Only ten initiates will ultimately become members. There were twenty-one of you. Two did not make it this far. Four initiates will be cut at the end of the first stage. The rest will be cut before the end."

"What happens if you're cut?" Someone asks.

"You leave the Dauntless compound and live factionless." I say, stepping out of the shadows.

A few of the initiates jump when they see me. The rest swallow nervously.

Eric looks annoyed to see me. He hates me, but he doesn't hate me half as much as he hates Four. I guess ranking second after a guy who didn't even want to take your job as a Dauntless leader does that to you.

"But-" A girl stutters. Her looks is of utter panic. She hadn't been expecting this. Neither had I when I first came here. But I show no mercy.

"But nothing. You chose Dauntless, now we choose you."

As the girl stifles a sob, I turn on my heel and stride away. I already know who will make it, and who won't.

* * *

My alarm goes off in my ear.

I roll over and slam my hand down on it. The glaring red lights show 6:30AM. For a moment, I'm tempted to go back to sleep, but I know it would just encourage the initiates to be lazy.

Now, I understood why we were woken up so rudely on the first day. Why let the people you have to wake up to train sleep, while you drag yourself awake early? Why did I let Harrison persuade me into taking this job?

Four and Eric bailed on the job of waking the initiates, so it was forced on me.

I drag myself into the shower, staying under the warm spray for as long as possible before getting out. I grab a random black tank, one out of numerous similar ones, and a matching pair of pants. I check my clock. _7:23. _I still have about fifteen minutes until I have to wake the initiates. Not enough time for breakfast, so I decide to try my hand at makeup. I'm able to easily line my eyes, and I even manage to put mascara on without making a mess, but I blanch at the sight of the liquid foundation, something I would never admit to anyone.

I take a quick glance in the mirror. I know I will never be beautiful, but I can sure as hell be intimidating.

I walk down to where the initiates sleep and slam the door open. It produces a very satisfying bang as it crashes against the wall. "Everybody up!" I roar. "You have ten minutes to get dressed and in the training room!"

Everybody in the room stares at me. "Well?" I demand. "Get to it!"

The room explodes into a flurry of motion, people jumping out of bed and pulling on clothes. I leave, heading to the training room, but I first make a stop at the dining hall to grab a muffin and some coffee. I need the caffeine if I have to go through this. I realize I could have done the same earlier, but I guess I just can't think clearly when it's early.

Four's in the training room already, gun in his hand, despite the fact that we've already agreed that I'll be the one doing the demonstration. I grab a gun off the rack as well and we wait in silence until the initiates arrive.

They are barely on time. I sigh, but don't comment on it. I'm sure that if they're ever late, it'll be on a day that Eric decides to come 'supervise'. And after that, they'd always make sure they're at least ten minutes early everyday.

I grab a gun off the rack and hand it to the nearest initiate. He takes it, unsure of how to grasp it. I roll my eyes and continue passing the guns out.

Four starts giving an overview of everything we'll be doing. "First, you'll be learning how to shoot a gun. This is part of the first stage of initiation. There are three stages, each will prepare you in a different way. During the first stage, your physical abilities will be analyzed. In the second, you will have to overcome emotional hardships. In the third, you have to overcome mental barriers. You will be scored on each of the stages, but your scores on each individual stage are not all weighed the same in determining your final rank. Your final rank will determine what job you eventually get. And trust me, there are few desirable ones."

He pauses, waiting for the question. There's always someone who asks.

"How does shooting a gun have anything to do with being Dauntless?"

"What's your name, initiate?" I ask.

He scowls at me. "James."

At least he wasn't yawning, otherwise I probably would have pressed the gun to his head, just like Four had to Peter two years ago.

"Well James, when you're in a situation where you have to defend yourself or someone else, if you know how to shoot a gun, you'd be less likely to piss your pants if you actually knew how to defend yourself."

"So watch." I tell him.

With that, I spin towards the target, setting my feet shoulder-width apart. I aim and fire all in one smooth motion, no longer needing to stop and check my aim. The bullet hits dead center.

Four glares at the initiates until they get moving, and I move away from the target.

The initiates' forms are so bad that I cringe. One girl can't hold the gun still enough to even aim well. Another is holding the gun gingerly, as if she's afraid it would bite her. James doesn't have his feet spread far enough to brace himself.

I look towards Four. He's watching them, his arms crossed in front of his chest, frowning. He's always frowning. But then again, I'm usually frowning as well. He looks to me, body language clearly asking, _what?_

I shrug. "Wouldn't they get through this faster if we were telling them what they have to fix?"

"No. They have to learn on their own." He replies flatly.

I nod and look back to the initiates.

Four leaves an hour before lunch, claiming he has some business to take care of. I shrug indifferently, in Dauntless, the main policy is don't ask, don't tell. He quickly exits the room, leaving me to watch over the initiates.

It takes until lunch for all of the initiates to hit the target. Most of them aren't hitting it every time, but I hardly expect them to. I suppose the fact that they're actually hitting the target should be applauded, but I just dismiss them to lunch.

I make my way to the dining hall after I've made sure all the guns are stored properly. Most of them were sloppily put on the racks, so it takes me an extra few minutes to make sure all the guns are locked.

I've got the whole afternoon off after this, so I take my time back going to the dining hall.

On the way there, I run into Peter.

"Stiff," He sneers at me.

"Peter," I reply with just as much venom.

"Having fun training the losers? Do you feel connected to them because they're all just as weak as you?"

"Well, I wasn't the one who ranked second in initiation," I shoot back at him. "So shove off."

He glares at me one last time before moving down the corridor. I do the same.

"Sorry I'm late," I tell Christina. She's almost done with her lunch.

"It's fine," She says, popping a french fry into her mouth. "Here, I saved you lunch." She slides me a plate. "They only had chicken," She explains, nodding at the sandwich.

"It's fine. Thanks."

It isn't until I start eating that I realize how hungry I am. Within minutes, I finish the whole sandwich.

"So," Christina says, leaning back against the table. "You want to go shopping?"

* * *

**And... it's a wrap! I know it really closely resembles the book right now, but I promise it won't be like this the whole story.**

**When I first started writing this, I felt like Tris would be close to Four, personality-wise, but I realize that she would probably never be able to be that emotionless. I feel like she's more indifferent, rather than cold, and Caleb's betrayal just made her get over her Abnegation traits, not turn her into someone like Eric.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I said in the summary that there would eventually be FourTris in this story. It's going to be a slow building romance, so you probably won't see any clear romantic attraction for a few chapters.**

**But it will be there.**

* * *

"You'll be fighting today," Four announces as soon as the initiates shuffle in. They look more awake than they were yesterday. However, at the mention of fighting, several of them seem to become less eager for today's lesson.

Eric had made sure the rules were changed so that no one could surrender, a policy I still don't approve of, and neither does Four, but there's nothing we can do about it.

Four flips the board over, revealing the pairs. He was the one who made the pairings, so I'm not surprised when they are all relatively fair, unlike the time Eric made me fight Peter. James and Alex, the Candor boy who I had pushed off the roof on the first day, are paired together and they're first on the list, meaning they're the first to go. They are both tall, and slightly muscular. The Amity girl, Stephanie, is paired with Jess, a transfer from Erudite. They both picked up on how to use a gun pretty quickly. Then there's Bailey and Nick, the only opposite gender pairing. Bailey's tall and definitely capable of fighting against Nick, so I don't worry about her. However, when I see Maggie paired with Kelli, I frown. Neither girls seemed willing to learn how to fire a gun. Kelli, the Erudite transfer, was the one who had been crying on the first night. How are they going to be able to fight? The last to go will be Jason and Justin. They look similar enough to be brothers, but I know that Jason transferred from Candor and Justin from Erudite. They're both determined to be the best. Personality-wise, neither of them are as bad as Peter, but I know they will do whatever it takes to make it into Dauntless.

Four calls James and Alex into the arena, and they put up their hands in defensive positions. James is the first to attack. He swings towards Alex's face, putting all his weight behind the blow. Alex puts his arm up, just in time. Judging by the look on his face, blocking the punch hurt nearly as much as being punched in the face would have been.

I watching them carefully, noting down every little detail. James is strong, but he opens his side every time he punches. I wait for Alex to take note of that, but he doesn't until it's too late.

James punches again, and Alex is down. He lies still for a few seconds, then his eyes open. He's been hit hard, I can tell by the way he blinks and tries to focus on the room. When it becomes clear that he'll need help getting up, I walk over and drag him into a standing position. "Can you walk?" I ask.

He nods.

"Then go," I tell him, jerking my head in the general direction of the rest of the transfers. They're apprehensive now.

Then I look to James. "What do you think you're doing?" I ask.

"I-" He starts, but I cut him off.

"Out of the ring. You have to let the rest of the people have their turn."

He walks out, his shoulders thrown back. He's obviously proud that he's won. Who wouldn't be?

Four circles James's name on the board. "Next!"

Stephanie and Jess step up to the arena. They'll less quick to attack each other. They start circling each other, each step getting a tiny bit closer to each other. Neither of them back away. But they're hesitant to hit each other. It's going to be hard for them to get through initiation if they can't even attempt to fight.

"You can't dance around each other all day, you know," I tell them.

However, I'm surprised when Stephanie is the first to throw a punch. I thought since she had lived all her life in Amity, it would make her less likely to want to fight. But then again, she probably left for a reason.

That's why I am less than surprised when she wins the fight. She has potential, despite this being the first time she's actually sparred. Unless she has some freak accident, I'm nearly certain she will pass the first stage.

Bailey and Nick are just about to start their fight when Eric walks in. He can sense the fights like a shark scents blood in the water. He casts an unimpressed look at the board. "You're going soft, Four," He says.

Eric scans the silent crowd of initiates. The ones who have already fought look relieved, they know he won't choose one of them to fight. "You!" He snaps at Justin, "Get in the arena." Then, slowly, appraisingly, he sweeps his gaze over the initiates, until finally, he gaze lands on Kelli. "You."

I frown. I know she wasn't going to make it past the first stage, but this is simply cruel.

Kelli trembles, swallowing nervously.

"Get in the arena, girl," Eric says. Maybe if she loses the fight, Eric would cut her, and spare the trouble of having to cut her later.

"Eric," Four warns. His voice is low, dangerous.

"Stay out of this," Eric snarls.

Kelli is still standing where she is. I sigh mentally, she just made her chances of getting through this without being cut nearly nonexistent.

"Get in the ring!" Eric shouts.

Someone gives her a nudge to get her moving, and finally, Kelli pulls herself into the arena with Justin.

Justin smiles, mostly to himself. He knows he will have an easy victory.

I look back over my shoulder. Four's erasing the names on the board, replacing Bailey and Nick with Kelli and Justin's names. Jason and Maggie are now paired together as well. Feeling my eyes upon him, Four turns around to look at me. I hold his gaze, remembering that with him, it's the same principle as with the vicious dog from the simulation. To look down is the be submissive. To hold his gaze is a challenge.

But I snap my eyes back the arena when I see Justin move out of the corner of my eye. He lunges at Kelli, who is too slow to move away. With a quick punch, Justin knocks her down. He backs off, waiting for her to get back up. Then he punches her again. I'm instantly reminded of Peter.

Eric's watching the one-sided fight, eyes narrowed and mouth pulled in a vicious smile.

Kelli's sobbing, one hand stretched out in front of her, the other one wiping at her eyes.

But then something happens. As Justin moves to punch her again, she kicks him in the stomach. He staggers back, clearly not having expected it. None of us did. Eric's not smiling anymore. He's clearly calculating something.

Justin's angry now. He lunges again, but this time she's ready. She sidesteps him, and kicks him to the floor. As he tries to stand again, she kicks him in the ribs, even more viciously. Justin collapses on the floor, but he's still conscious. So Kelli rears back, and this time, she slams her foot into his nose, like she's kicking a soccer ball, and the soccer ball is his head. There's a distinct crack as his nose breaks, and he falls unconscious. Blood gushes from his nose, dripping onto the floor. I'm sure she would have kept on kicking him if I hadn't dragged her away.

"Get the boy up," Eric says, his voice pleased. He's always happy to see violence.

There's an insane glint in her eyes as Kelli struggles, but I get her in a chokehold. "I'm taking her away to calm down," I tell Four, dragging her out of the room.

I lead her up to the roof, where there is no one she could possibly hurt. It takes her five minutes to stop struggling with me, and five more to calm down. Then, she curls up into a ball and starts rocking herself.

After the madness completely fades from her eyes, I sit down beside her and ask, "What was your aptitude test result?"

She answers "Erudite" without any hesitation. She does not show any of the classic signs of lying, so she's either telling the truth or she's an extremely skilled liar. So I ask her another question. "Then why did you decide to join Dauntless?"

She's not as willing to answer this question, and it takes me several tries to pry the answer out of her. Finally, she says, "Justin was also from Erudite." I nod. I already knew that. "He was my boyfriend, and I thought I loved him. But we had some issues, and I thought that if I was in the same faction as him, we could eventually work out our problems. So I followed him here." She starts to panic again. "But I didn't know that only ten people would become members of Dauntless!"

Before she works herself into a hysterical fit, I intervene. "What sort of issues did you have?"

"I would go over to his house sometimes after a hard day, wanting some sympathy. One moment, we'd be talking, and the next, he'd hit me!"

"And what happened today?"

Now, she completely clams up. I shake my head, realizing I won't get any more answers from her today. I rise to my feet. "You can go back down when you're ready. You're dismissed for the rest of the day."

Let it never be said that I am completely without mercy.

* * *

Christina runs up to me the moment I set foot in the hospital. She's not in her scrubs anymore, her shift's just ended. "What happened during training?" She asks. "Some kid got rushed in, blood everywhere and fractured ribs!"

I shake my head. "Later," I tell her. "Do you know where he is?"

Christina nods, but asks, "Why?"

"I have to ask him some questions," I answer cryptically. If what Kelli had said was true, then he would be thrown out of Dauntless. While fighting is perfectly acceptable, domestic abuse is not.

"Okay," Christina shrugs. "I'll take you to his room."

She leads me to a closed door. "In there," She says, even though she knows I could have figured that out on my own. She pushes the door open, and walks inside. I follow her in.

They cleaned up Justin's nose pretty well. It looks likes it'll be crooked once it heals though. There are a few bruises around his face from where Kelli kicked him.

"Can I wake him up?" I ask Christina.

Her nose wrinkles. "Sure, he's just sleeping now." She decides. "Just don't use with cold water, it wouldn't be good for his system."

I tap Justin hard on the forehead a few times. He wakes with a start, gasping for breath. I wait for him to focus on me, then I ask, "Did you ever hit your girlfriend?"

"What?" He asks, completely confused.

"Kelli," I clarify.

"That crazy bitch? I never dated her!" He protests.

I roll my eyes and sigh. This is turning out to be a huge mess, it seems. "Did you ever hit her?" I repeat.

"Only after she hit me!" He says defensively. So he did hit her, but she also hit him. "She'd latch herself onto me and never let me go. She was always saying how much she loved me and how we would be the perfect couple. But whenever I tried to get rid of her, she'd go crazy. Biting and slapping. Then, I'd try to defend myself and she'd start crying and blame me. What the hell was I supposed to do about that?"

I can't tell if he's lying, or if it had actually been her. I look to Christina. "He's telling the truth," She whispers. She's about to point out how she knows, but I just nod and take her word for it.

"Okay then," I tell him, and sweep from the room.

Christina asks me again, "So what happened today?"

"So Eric came in, and he decided that because we had paired people who were actually evenly matched together, we were going too easy on them. So he made that kid and this girl, Kelli, fight. And Kelli looks really weak, and she looked like she was about to throw up when Eric made her fight Justin. So he punches her a few times, and she's crying, and Eric looks like he's having the best day of his life, when suddenly, she snaps and goes crazy on Justin and starts kicking him. And she knocked him out, and I'm pretty sure she was going to keep kicking him until he was dead, so I pulled her off of him and brought her up to the roof to calm down. She said that they used to date and he would hit her, so I decided to come down and ask him. But you said he was telling the truth, so that means she's either crazy or she lied."

"You know, I could be wrong," Christina points out.

I nod, but reply, "You might, but I have a feeling that you're not. They're from Erudite, they wouldn't have learned how to lie convincingly enough to fool a Candor." Then I correct myself. "Sorry, someone born in Candor."

"If you're sure," Christina says skeptically. We walk in silence towards the dining hall for lunch, until she asks, "So where's the girl now?"

"I told her she could take the rest of the day off, and to just come back in whenever she's ready. I don't know if she's left the roof or not yet."

Christina gasps. "You took her to the roof?"

I shrug. "It was the only place where she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone if she want psycho again. I'm pretty sure that even if she did, I would be able to handle her."

Christina shakes her head. "That's not my point. My point is, you left a crazy girl _by herself _on a roof. And that roof is a few stories off the ground."

"Well, when you put it that way, I'm starting to think it wasn't a good idea." I say, grimacing. "You think we should go check on her?"

Christina nods, her face set in an unimpressed look.

We first stop by the initiate dormitories to check if she's there. It's empty. Then, as we pass by the dining hall, I pull aside Bailey, the other Erudite transfer. "Have you seen Kelli since I brought her out?" I ask. She shakes her head.

So we go check the roof. But there's no one on the roof either. The best case scenario is that we just missed her. The worst case scenario is-

"Tris!" Christina calls.

"Six," I automatically correct as her I move over to where she's standing.

"Whatever, there's no one around here anyways. Well, no one but her," Christina says, pointing downwards.

I look down, and see a body on the pavement. Even though it's too far away to make out her features, I know it's Kelli. I can see the blonde hair, and it looks like it's tinged with red. Blood, most likely. Her limbs are bent in awkward angles, and there's no doubt that she's dead.

"She wouldn't have made it through initiation, anyways," I say callously. "I'll go tell Four so they can go get her body."

Christina looks like she's about to say something, but then she closes her mouth and follows me down the stairs.

"Why don't I care anymore?" I ask as soon as we get off the roof.

Christina is silent.

"I want to care, or at least feel guilty, but right now, it doesn't even bother me that she just jumped off the roof. What the hell is wrong with me?" I demand.

"Tris–" Christina starts to say, but then she falls silent.

_Tris. _Am I even her anymore? Tris would have cared. She wouldn't just treat an initiate committing suicide as some problem that just had to taken care of. _Tris _would have stood up to Eric when he made Kelli and Justin fight.

I feel like I'm losing myself. No, I've already lost myself. I lost myself the day I lost my family.


End file.
